I wonder if I have a tag on my forehead that says, “you must know more about me than I know about myself”?  Why else would inflexible people critique my thoughts and beliefs as being something they “would never do?”  Oh I know, because my freedom thinking disturbs their rigidity and religiosity because they are the experts on all topics concerning righteousness.  Well for righteousness sake, I’m asking for all said judgers to get rid of the word “should” in their vocabularies and take a pause before dishing out advice.  Nobody likes a prideful, arrogant know-it-all who can’t understand why someone else did what they did.  The fact that someone cannot commiserate with another’s emotions and personal circumstance says more about their ignorance than the one they deem incomprehensible.  Looking down on your neighbor was never the position of Christ because He best understood the drives behind choice.

Now that I have swallowed the vomit in my throat after encountering one more out of the numerous ministries and people I have met who operate from pomp and circumstance, I can walk away smiling.  Laughing, actually because they have nothing I want.  Life coaches, mentors and essential oil reps who are building platforms based off of their own theology should be interviewed thoroughly of personal mastery and inner healing before telling anyone else what to do.  I can appreciate the entrepreneurial spirit in another but if it’s for the sake of promoting a substitute to prayer, check to make sure they have invested in humility before you hand over the credit card.  I’m not faulting their ambition because I have it as well, but I have gone through years of schooling, taken master’s classes for certification in the field of psychotherapy, journalism, teaching and IFS counseling, while they get to pass off expertise in categories like love because they were married, divorced and now diving into the dating scene again.  I’m sorry, isn’t that over 50% of America?  And now you want me to spend $40 on an oil that is supposed to emotionally heal my daddy issues when I rub it on my temples?   Am I allowed to ask for more proof because I’ve been praying, fasting, studying and living Christianity for over 23 years and if this new addition is the answer, man I must have bought the wrong brand before your idea came along. Hey, I’m down, I’ll try anything once if lives are bettered and I can witness the gentle approach of those pitching the sale, but as soon as that righteous arrogance appears, the plug is pulled.

The reason I’m going to pull the plug on the latest christian trends is because nobody has a fool proof answer.  The mysteries of God are never going to allow a 12 step program or a 10 point list, a strategy that no one has heard of before, or a method to bring answers to life questions because He wants us to seek Him for them.  And it will be personal to each individual because importance for one, may not be of interest to another, just as sin for one might not be an issue for the other.  That’s what I need to remember when I’m bitching about my co-worker who corrects me when I cuss because she believes I should be “watching my witness”.  Seriously?  She has more customer complaints than all of us put together, but never mind that “plank of wood in your own eye” parable.

This woman is a life coach who prides herself in “praying about everything and never speaking ill out of her mouth”.  So she took it upon herself like so many other prideful people I have crashed into over the years, to school me in the “right way of behaving”.  Of course she is concerned about my witness, which is why she is trying to “encourage me”.  I attempted to explain that certain cultures raise their children with cussing yet still believe in God, but her closed eyes told me that that possibility didn’t exist in her mind. She wouldn’t have lasted one day working in the hood of Baltimore without being able to speak the language and attitude of those teens that I built a rapport with and led to The Lord.  I taught them to pray like they were talking to a friend, cussing and all because Christ was man enough to handle it.  That statement unfortunately got her ramped up, so she kept talking over me.

I could have pointed out that all of our co-workers seek me for prayer and advice despite my mouth and find her unrelatable, but nonetheless I didn’t want to engage in her lecture because no amount of reasoning will drill through her prejudice. Her judgment of me looks just as bad to the world as my cussing does to her, and I’m pretty sure there isn’t an oil that can get rid of it.  I don’t care what her opinion of me is, but I do feel protective over the curious bystanders who may get a bad taste in their mouth about the Savior she and I both serve.  A lot of harm is done in the name of religion when it is really just preservation of someone’s self acclaimed ministry.

Her assumption that I need her wisdom is no different than the hundreds I have encountered throughout my journey with God.  I think they dislike the amount of connection I have with people naturally so they have to darken my light somehow. Should I explain my reason for doing something they commonly raise their voices with scriptural re-buttle or give the silent treatment with a disapproving look, spread gossip to leadership, or roll their eyes to each other in front of my face, clearly communicating a topic previously discussed among them.  I guess I should take it as a compliment that so many people are concerned about my walk with Jesus but the reality is that they think I SHOULD be living my life contrary to how I’m doing it. And that “should” mentality is always a reflection of how they talk to themselves because out of the heart does the mouth speak, but again I must temper my words or fall victim to defending my own sin.

And this merry go round that continues is really just a reflection of everyone wanting approval for his or her individuality and interpretation of life’s meaning.  It’s easy for me to take her inventory and re-direct her righteous mentality as being the bane of everyone’s existence around her, but I too would become the ass.  And since I don’t follow the masses who hide behind church, I trust that she and the rest of them would rather correct others and maintain their facades of piety, which only repels un-believers and sends them in my direction.  Without a doubt I have to surrender my flesh and not chime in on the complaints of employees because unlike my fellow christian sister, I allow them the freedom of expression.  In reality, it solidifies that my style of representing the Gospel must be working quite well if most people feel accepted in my presence.  I would rather be a friend to the weak and hurting because that is who my Jesus is.  And as it turns out, accepting others who cuss, make mistakes and struggle with sin gives me the greatest opportunity to walk alongside them on their journey knowing all I SHOULD be doing, is loving them.