The reason why many question God’s goodness when they wonder where he was when they chanted scripture like a mantra, has to do with relationship. Satan quoted scripture, how else will knowledge puff up? Big deal, plenty of worldly people are successful for studying what other people don’t take the time to. You are called for more, some are ok with survival but you aren’t, and be glad because in the secret place you will find more than enough to sustain you as you anticipate your healing, it comes through relationship, not regurgitating the word. God relates to us humanly through His son, so take it to Him, He can handle it! And through the perseverance of getting back up and facing the giants you become strengthened from within and you run without growing weary. There will always be a religious answer, don’t settle for it, go deeper and confide in the One who knows suffering and desires your emotional connection through it so it doesn’t master you. Let the weak remain so in their obligation, doing and seeming “Godly”. Take it to the cross and cuss a little, hash it out and cry…. I promise you the freedom from religion is so worth it.