Why can’t we express ourselves to God with anger? I’m angry but I’m told to repent and stuff it, how the hell is that being transparent with Daddy? Doesn’t He already know why my heart is suffering? I’ve never adapted well to the “be good” type of Christianity that many appeal to. I know I’m good because I have Jesus’ blood pumping through my veins, but that doesn’t mean I have to “act” like everything is ok when it isn’t. If I’m in relationship with Him than I get to be real and emotional knowing that He can handle it.

I get that most people shutter with passionate expression but Jesus Himself turned over tables. If I’m made in His image and love Him, than I trust He gets me. When I was kicked out and disowned by my earthly father at the age of 15, I never saw my brother again until I returned for his funeral. Coincidentally he overdosed on heroin at the age of 15, kind of telling about the dysfunction exhibited in my home. Yet, through all of my pain and suffering, I shook my fists at God and demanded an explanation. I found it.

Seems my need of emotional healing saved more than just my soul.

The following link is my testimony that I wish to share in hopes that many will come before the throne room of grace and find it.